The Art of Settling

As of late, it seems the topic of ‘settling’ in relationships keeps nestling itself in the midst of my conversations. I guess topics like this are bound to come up when you’re in your late twenties and everyone’s settling down, but with so many people concerned about hitting milestones I can’t help but wonder if settling has become the norm for the sake of just being with someone?

I was having a few drinks with a girlfriend the other night and we got talking about relationships and when you know someone is right for you. Halfway through, she shared the handful of girlfriends she has who’ve thrown the ultimatum of a marriage proposal or splits-ville to their boyfriends, feeling it was “time”.
Are they serious??
If he needs an ultimatum to marry you, maybe he’s not ready and maybe.. just maybe, marriage shouldn’t be on your ‘to do’ list. Sure, people need to be pushed every once and a while. Pushed to do their homework, to take out the garbage, to call and ask for a second date… but to marry someone??  Lol – I don’t get it:)
I asked her how they’re doing now…. Not so strong

All too often, I have friends who burden themselves with the dilemma of ‘stay or go.’ Who are fully aware that they’re not 100% happy, but they’re scared to let go or to be alone… so they settle. They give up a piece of who they are and compromise it for the idea of ‘being with someone.’ But aren’t we worth more than that? Shouldn’t we give ourselves a little more value, if for anything, than just our own happiness?

For me, settling just can’t be an option. Believe me when I say there’s times I’ve wanted to…When I’ve really liked someone and wished things could have been different, but in the end, I feel the consequence is far greater than the small bouts of pleasure in between the ruffled feathers.

When it’s all said and done, there’s someone out there for everyone. Some one to adore you, to love you, to listen, to lift you up.. Someone who truly adds to your life and who you are. No ultimatums, no set date, just time as it dictates. And I’d hate to short change myself by thinking this world could only offer me that on a part-time basis.

It’s not easy being single and dating isn’t for everyone. To put yourself out there, to know that you’re vulnerable to be hurt or let down, there’s no guarantees in anything we do. But regardless of any outcome, it’s far greater to stay true to who you are without compromising you’re needs than to settle for only half and hope for the rest.

Lu xo

I was cleaning out a cupboard this afternoon – pulled out an old score card with both an ex-boyfriend and my name written across the top. Starred at it for a minute, checking out the scores, thinking back to the date… then went to throw it out – after all, why keep it? I opened the garbage but then thought back to how happy I was that night, all smiles in light of the unknown – Infatuated and content.
I ended up putting it back where I found it. Not for the memory of an ex, but for a memory of me and how great I felt at that time.

Thought that was pretty cool..

The Swing of Things

Ok – So summer is well over, and those late, balmy nights paired with cocktails and sweet eats are on hold until next season.

So what’s next? Well, besides Santa and that white stuff, I use these months to get back into my routine health-wise. Whether food or just everyday stuff, Here’s a few tips I live by..

Greens, Greens, Greens! – I know, I know.. veggies aren’t always a crowd pleaser, but just a few servings a day can optimize health. I always opt for darker veggies high in vitamins and antioxidents ie; kale, collards, peppers, tomatoes and eat them raw or steamed – fried, baked or boiled depletes the good content.

Organics – The organic industry is heavily regulated to ensure consumers of no synthetic inputs such as pesticides, chemical fertilizers or chemical food additives used on foods, as well as no containment of  gentically modified organisms. They may cost a bit more, but well worth it in the long run.

Toxins – Limiting your exposure to toxins can be tough, considering the environments we live in. Knowing that, I try to stay away from all that scented stuff ie: plug-ins, candles, household cleaners etc. The chemicals and carcinogens they release into the air can cause significant health problems down the line and more and more studies are showing that. Instead, I use essential oils for scents and natural cleaning products that are chemical free (which btw, are becoming pretty popular in retail.. not hard to find).

Parabens – Parabens are used as a preservative in shampoos, moisturizers, shaving gels, cosmetics, deodorants, toothpaste and even foods with general preservatives. The problem with parabens is that it can mimic the hormone estrogen, which is known to play a significant role in the development of breast and other cancers. How to steer clear ??…
Natural Products – To avoid parabens and other harmful chemicals, I avoid ingredients with the word paraben ie. ethylparaben, propylparaben, benzylparaben or butylparaben. I also try to buy all natural products.  Alot of companies have caught on to this and are making products without synthetic additives, so it’s not so hard to get your hands on them, or expensive. This doesn’t mean I always buy natural, but when I can, I do and that’s what’s important.

Exercise – If there’s one thing I can’t go without, it’s exercise. Besides the physical benefits, a little gym time can reap huge benefits for your mind and spirit not to mention the early prevention of diseases down the line. I try to hit the gym 5x a week, but 3x/wk for 1 hour can do the trick!

And in short.. That’s me in a day – I think these things are essential in attaining you personal best. The science is there for us to live better.. so why not.   It may seem like a lot, but it’s really just a way of life and after a while, these choices just come naturally.

http://www.mercola.com/

http://www.livestrong.com/

Reasonable Doubt

There’s only a few things in life you’re guaranteed. Everything else is up in the air.

A close girlfriend of mine lost her mom a couple years ago to a devastating homicide. This past week, the murder trial of her killer began, leaving the rest of his time here up to a jury of 12…..  My friend sits in the back everyday, listening to every detail, if for anything then to simply know.

I woke up this morning … my heart feeling consumed.  I’m not sure there’s enough strength in anyone to sail through those bearings, enough intellect to rationalize, enough courage to forgive.

Even if he is found guilty, it seems the idea of reasonable doubt bonds much stronger to the truth that a heart may never heal from such a loss..

♥

********************************
November 2, 2011 – Guilty.

Wall Street’s New Occupation

In the epicentre of global capitalism, lower Manhattan congests every morning by the masses of black suits and yellow cabs, bussling against the bell of world trade. But as of late, the steel framed blocks between Broadway and South street have met a shift in occupation as thousands of Americans young and old protest the political state of their country with one thing on their mind… An American Revolution.

I was passed along an essay the other day titled The Revolution Begins At Home, by Arun Gupta. An open letter on modern day revolution, Gupta’s view on the Wall Street Occupation sheds light on the current disdain of the American people while focusing on the failure and injustice of America’s economic and political climates.

Not only are over 50 million Americans living without health insurance, but it’s suggested that over 100 million Americans are living in poverty. How does that even happen? In one of the richest nations in the world, how are so many people left behind while a minute population boasts incomes worth more than the remaining 99% of Americans combined.

Has democracy become a fictitious ideal replaced with monetary gain and social stratification?

With financial burdens of foreclosures, healthcare, education, debt and high-unemployment rates, Americans are fed up, with good reason. And over the past two weeks, as they fill the streets where the fat cats got their bailouts, I wonder who’s ears their protests will fall on – Their invisible government or the financial elite?

Lets be honest, this isn’t about a President and the façade of his or her “power”, but rather the effects of  “corporatocracy” – America’s most elite, owners of major corporations, banks and construction companies who have quietly created a global empire using modern forms of human slavery i.e.; debt, labour, war and social segregation for the power of monetary gain and global dominance. A strategic movement over the past 70+ years, which North Americans have been bred into believing, all while the rich have become richer and the poor, poorer – Suppressed of knowledge and vulnerable to exploitation.

Whats left? Millions of people failed by a system they once believed so strongly in. A system that has essentially robbed the foundation of its very structure.

As a Canadian, I come from a proud country, where most believe that our entity is unique and much different than the US. But I think it’s all the same here. Sure, we have healthcare, pay taxes and are unique in visual ways, but the structure of our system nearly mirrors the US. Whether politically or economically, it all boils down to corporate power and wealth, which leads me to believe that the protests on Wall Street aren’t only for the millions of Americans struggling within their own system, but for North America as a whole.

Maybe that’s why thousands of people are joining this revolt as each day turns. It’s undeniably powerful and has extreme potential for change. Even Canadians identify, as marches are expected to begin in Toronto’s downtown core mid-October.

A modern day David and Goliath? Quite possibly.

The chance of an American revolution? Who knows, only time will only tell. But as Arun Gupta shares in her letter, “if we focus on the possibilities, and shed our despair, our hesitancy and our cynicism, and collectively come to Wall Street with critical thinking, ideas and solidarity we can change the world”

I’ll be there in Toronto… Change is always possible.

Lu

Read: Open Letter from Arun Gupta on the Wall Street Occupation, “The Revolution Begins At Home”

I urge everyone to watch this video… Even if only for a few minutes.

Food for Thought

Was walking home from dinner last night – Started thinking about choices. Big ones, small ones… What if’s – You know, stuff that’ll make you go crazy if you think about it too long???;)

Just think its so surreal how a single choice can alter a whole life path.  People who’ve passed.. Us still here.. I guess it’s those split moment decisions that determine it all.

Hard to even grasp the scope of it all, so I won’t dwell on it. Just some food for thought on a breezy walk home..

 

Half..

All Is Good

The mind. No bounds…

Cavernous. Provoking. Amazing.

Artist: Stephen Wiltshire

Lu xo

The Best Policy

Relationships – A topic studied for centuries. Billions of books of sold, trillions spent in therapy, plenty of fairytale stories and even more broken hearts.

The fundamentals of dating aren’t so easy to nail down and are about just as unique as the beholder. But with the help of generations passed and a few authors along the way, concepts like,
“make them chase!” “play hard to get,” and “don’t show all your cards too fast,”
have summed it all up, and have engrained the idea that IF you play strategically, you too can get who and what you want.

But while a little strategy may be beneficial at gaining one’s attention, once in a relationship, when do you put the games to bed?
In a world where everyone is trying to find the perfect fit with someone else, at what point does honesty take the lead and strategy take the backseat?
…When are too many games.. too much?

After watching a close girlfriend over the past month, feed into a pile of mixed messages and head games from an interest eight years her senior, I can’t help but wonder if honesty is even regarded as the best policy anymore.
From turning tables, to the, I’m perfect syndrome, it seemed her one time relationship had become the topic of confusion. Truth is, he wasn’t the guy she thought she was dating in the first place. His ego was hungry and this probably wasn’t his first ballgame, but after watching her be so upfront, yet only to receive more mixed messages and pretentious fingers pointed her way, does honesty even count, if for anything, then a little honesty in return – When is enough, enough?

Sure it doesn’t help that from the time we start ‘dating’ we’re told to play smart when getting to know someone, but shouldn’t there be a point where you put evasiveness aside and be upfront about your intentions? Whether good or bad – To love, to leave to express however you feel, for as hard as it may be, it just seems that honesty has to take the front seat or else you surrender to superficial thoughts – Pride, ego, self-gratification – Traits that have no real substance.

Even though that experience was trying for my girlfriend, I commend and admire her integrity. She was honest and real with who she was and I don’t know if you can find that too often anymore. That guy.. well… due to his insecure and childish ways, he’s another story. I just hope that the message honesty carries, in any relationship, is regarded as a great quality and returned with the same respect….
Otherwise.. The truth may lie in knowing when to forfeit the game.

Lu xo

9/11 Remembered

It’s hard to believe that a decade has passed since 9/11 with today marking the 10^th anniversary.

I can still remember that morning so clear.. The shock, disbelief – I had never seen anything like that so vividly.

For myself though, the whole idea of Islamic radicalists hi-jacking four planes on US soil didn’t fly for too long and although I’ve never been much of a conspiracy theorist, there isn’t a doubt in my mind that 9/11 was an inside job.

Earlier this week I went to check out an event hosted by Architects & Engineers (AE)  for 9/11 Truth at the Underground Cinema on Queen and Spadina. The AE organization, made up of over 1500 architects and engineers, are pushing for a new investigation into 9/11 and are in Toronto this week for related hearings at Ryerson U. I won’t get into much of the documentary and the whole movement (since I’ll post some links you can check out yourself), but it basically takes the laws of physics and hard science against the official 9/11 story, leaving controlled demolition as the only scientific cause as to how World Trade Centres 1, 2 & 7 collapsed the way they did.

A little heavy?? Sure…  But truth is, over 3,000 people were murdered on 9/11. For the families of those lost and for the future of humanity as we go forward, it would be careless to just turn a blind eye on such heinous events. We need to think for ourselves instead of relying on media to provide our points of view.

I’ll let you be the judge though – Check out some links below:

Lu xo

STREAM TORONTO HEARINGS

WEBSITE – ARCHITECTS & ENGINEERS FOR 9/11 TRUTH

 

 

 

The Bigger Picture

When I can witness something so beautiful, I loose any insecurities I may have at that moment and am assured there’s something much bigger than all of us here… That we’re all part of something so divine… so perfect.

Lu xo

Once Upon A Time

 

When we were kids… we were fearless. Our minds knew no bounds and our hearts were wide open to love. And even though the world seemed so big against our small frames and tiny minds, we dared to imagine some of our wildest dreams within a canvas so gigantic.

Life was innocence and our questions were real…

 

It’s ironic that you spend so much time as a kid wishing you were grown and once there you crave to capture the buoyancy that came so easily as a child. I don’t know if it’s even possible to re-capture that spirit in this lifetime, but I do know there’s something truly magical about those years, and whenever I see kids lost in their own little world…  it takes me back every single time.

Lu xo

When Opportunity Knocks

After a long day challenged by my own fears of failure, the idea of success has taken a front and centre seat in my train of thought, leaving me to wonder whether the term itself has become so fixed on career titles and banks zero’s, that its perception has taken a superficial turn.

In a world defined by status and hierarchy, it’s only natural to feel a sense of urgency when it comes to succeeding, and for many, that term embeds itself in rank and tangible goods. But what is it about those experiences that are so fulfilling?
Is it how hard you struggled to get there? How quick you picked yourself up when it didn’t go as planned? How relentless you were at kicking down doors ’till one came open? It can’t just be about status and material things, there has to be a journey behind it or else you wouldn’t know it… you couldn’t truly feel it.

Maybe success isn’t really about those titles and ideals. Sure, it’s the world we live in, but maybe those concepts hold no weight in comparison to the success of ones self – Deeper rooted theories that travel back to why were here in the first place. Maybe success is truly defined by how well we know our self on the inside rather than how we present who we are. How we travel our time here and whether we stop often enough to understand the divinity of it all. How hard we love, how easy we forgive, how open we are to learn and grow… how fearlessly we dream regardless of anyone’s say. Without a grasp on those very things, is success even possible?

Maybe over time, the whole idea of succeeding has become tangled with the superficial thoughts of our egos, grasping to status rather than the journey of who we are while getting there.

All of the things that build our character, the ups, the downs, the will to know more, it seems success is the perseverance of ones self in any situation involving who you are and what you can become.
It seems to me that succeeding lies in how fearlessly you loved, how hard you tried and how much you believed in who you were throughout it all.

Lu xo

The Element of Freedom

See You When The Sun Sets….

I don’t know if it’s possible to capture the real beauty of a sunset with a camera.

But we all try.

So vital… So beautiful…

The Age Old Question

Whenever I get the chance to talk with some one quite my senior there’s two things I always ask. Has it gone by fast so far? And if you could go back to any age, what would it be? The answer is ALWAYS yes, and usually between 35 and 45.

… And those numbers get me thinking.

If people who are later in life want those years back, that leaves a lot to be desired for that age group. Funny thing is, most people my age aren’t looking forward to the whole idea of 30, let alone 31-2-3-4 or 5.

With that said, I can’t help but wonder if the idea of hitting 30 is all in our heads with dreadful fears of growing old and tired rather than embracing the chance to grow after weathering all the lessons of our earlier years. After all – It’s about how you feel.. Right?

Sure, the teens were fun and any cares were covered by our sheer inability to grasp our visibility in life. And the twenties were for good times and finding a sense of independence… however you define it. But there’s also a lot of mistakes, dead end roads and confusion along the way and even though I’m sure you’ll find that all throughout life, I have a feeling it’s more prevalent in the younger years.

It seems that beyond your twenties, who you are and what defines you really takes its shape.  Maybe that’s why so many find those their best years – when they found a sense of confidence and peace within their own truth…. That’s my guess anyway.

Regardless, I find the similarity interesting.

I’m looking forward to the 30s. I think it will bring some full-circle moments.

Now to convince my girlfriends..

Lu

The Dry Well Theory

I meant to share this before, but kept putting it off. Thought this whole ideal was huge for how we handle let downs. Couldn’t find the video but here’s the quote…

 “If you don’t want me, then I don’t want to be wanting you. I say you’re free to go. I’m not going to be doing that anymore in my life.  I don’t care who it is – I release you to do whatever it is you need to do.”        – Oprah Winfrey

Yes… the one and only… Ms. Winfrey:)

Her insight on releasing people to their free choice, and not holding them to your wants or expectations makes so much sense to me.

Of course, we all have the common sense to know that others are free to follow their own path, but the  power in that knowledge lies in how fast we put it to work when our encounters don’t go as we foresee.

Truth is, people aren’t always going to see you for your strengths and the great things that make you who you are..  and sometimes even if they do, they may not appreciate it. What’s important is that you don’t hold on to that encounter and try to persuade what’s real to be any different.  If  someone proves they don’t want you,  then they don’t deserve you and priming a dry well trying to make it different is a sure shot at learning the hard way… So in turn, release those people and the situations from you. It’s not yours to change and ultimately, not what’s meant beyond your moment in time.

Lu xo

Where the Water Meets the Sky

When my thoughts feel crowded and I’m unsure of my place in time, this is where I come to find perspective. The sound, the breeze, the fresh air, this is my little piece of heaven, where the water meets the sky.

 

 

 

 

Lu xo

Love at First Listen

Some of my earliest memories are surrounded by music. As a young girl I can remember the stereo always on, whether early morning or late at night. My parents were young, social and always entertaining.. In the background, albums like U2,  INXS or Nina Simone were  always in rotation.

For me the connection was instant and the emotion that reaped through the riff of each and every song was love at first listen. And even though I couldn’t understand the content behind the lyrics so young, the life of each 4 minute record did something really real for me..

From jotting down raps to stuffing paper in the holes of cassette tapes trying to dub that song off the radio I just HAD to HAVE, I’ve always had a keen ear for what’s new and what’s hot. Artists like The Doors to the tight lipped jazz notes of Ella Fitzgerald or the emotionally charged vocals of Nina Simone. From the soul of Alicia Keys, to the femininity of Beyonce, to the truth-filled grit of Jadakiss – Ballads, club records, or 16 bars, my library is vast and I find myself most passionate in that space.

I think what’s common between all of us is the language of music. Favourite songs are like a soundtrack to our life, pulling memories and emotions the second you hear them. We resonate or find pieces of who we are within lyrics. Whether comfort, validation or something in common, the language is  powerful.. it’s subjective… it’s a beautiful thing;)

Lu xo